5 Quotes Plus Discussion-Promoting Questions

See also Teaching Helps

Sister Runia gave us all an excellent, refreshing perspective on repentance, our worth as souls, and what it means to God.

You can find her full talk here. Unless you opt to spend a lot of time on a particular quote, try to pick around 2 questions per quote. Choose the questions that resonate the most with you and make a meaningful discussion for your group of personalities. These highlights and questions fit with Lesson Template 1 or Template 2. You can also check out several other General Conference Talks with 5 Highlights.

All blue quotes by Tamara W. Runia (unless otherwise noted).

Lesson Prep

• You can arrange the quotes in any order that makes sense to you. I suggest starting with the most important ones and working your way down. Don’t worry about covering all the quotes.
• If you want the discussion to be more meaningful, hand out reading assignments ahead of time and ask the reader to answer one question about them (pick one of the questions below and give it to them, along with the assigned quote). The sooner you do this, the better, but if possible, at least show it to them before the Sacrament meeting. You can also text or email it.
• Ask various people to read and participate – especially those who aren’t asked as much.

Lesson Delivery

• Ensure every class member has the conference talk and scriptures in front of them or on their phone. Always invite the class to read along—hearing and seeing the words together increases comprehension and engagement.
• Avoid videos – they shut down discussion. Save them for personal study.
• If the discussion gets too non-spiritual, pull it back by going to the next quote or question.
• Make sure you assign others to read the quotes. You’re talking enough already, and letting others read allows more people to participate.
• Encourage discussion by accepting all reasonable answers. Validate people for participating, and be thankful they spoke up. Engage with the answer in a conversational way whenever it feels natural. Never say, “That’s not the right answer,” or “We haven’t got to that part of the lesson yet.”
• Remember, spiritual discussion is golden. We want people to talk about the gospel together.
• If the discussion takes a different turn than your planned lesson, roll with it. The Spirit intends for you to be successful.

Quote #1 (perfection)

Possible engagement tool: Sister Runia shares some thoughts that some of us may have experienced as we seek to have a relationship with Christ. See if you can relate to some of her thoughts.

It saddens me to admit this, but I used to measure my relationship with the Savior by how perfectly I was living. I thought an obedient life meant I would never need to repent, and when I made mistakes—which was every single day—I distanced myself from God, thinking He must be so disappointed in me. That’s just not true. I’ve learned that if you wait until you’re clean enough or perfect enough to go to the Savior, you’ve missed the whole point. What if we thought about commandments and obedience in a different way? I testify that while God cares about our mistakes, He cares more about what happens after we make a mistake. Are we going to turn to Him again and again? Are we going to stay in this covenant relationship?

Maybe you hear the Lord’s words, “If you love me, keep my commandments,” and feel deflated because you haven’t kept all the commandments. Let me remind you that it is also a commandment to repent. In fact, it might be the most repeated commandment in the scriptures.

Possible discussion questions: What happens when we view repentance as an essential part of maintaining a relationship with the Savior, rather than a sign of failure? Instead of perfection, what are some alternative ways we could measure our connection to Jesus Christ? Does it help to know God cares more about what we do after we make a mistake than the mistake itself? How might this perspective influence how we think about personal shortcomings or sins? (Accept all reasonable answers – it encourages us to look forward and be proactive.)

Quote #2 (savior)

Possible intro: By changing our perspective of Christ, we can change our perspective of repentance.

Our Savior was willing to suffer the pain of His Atonement because He loves you. In fact, you are the joy that was set before Him while He suffered. The invitation to repent is an expression of God’s love; saying yes to that invitation is an expression of ours. Picture your favorite image of Christ. Now imagine Him smiling brightly with joy each time you use His gift, because He is the perfect brightness of hope. Yes, your repentance doesn’t burden Jesus Christ—it brightens His joy. Let’s teach that, because repentance is our best news, and we don’t stay on the covenant path by never making a mistake. We stay on that path by repenting every day. And when we’re repenting, God forgives without shaming us, comparing us to anyone else, or scolding us because this is the same thing we were repenting of last week. He is excited every time He sees us on our knees. He delights to forgive because, to Him, we are delightful. Don’t you just feel that’s true? Then why is it so hard for us to believe?

Possible discussion questions: Does Christ feel a burden or joy when you or I repent? How does the invitation to repent express God’s love? Do you believe our willingness to repent is an expression of our love? If you saw Christ smile as you repent, how would that affect your desire to repent daily? How can we teach or share the idea that “repentance is our best news” in a way that inspires hope rather than fear or discouragement?

Quote #3 (godly)

Possible engagement tool: Sister Runia shares the critical difference between shame vs. godly sorrow. See which one you’ve been taught to feel.

Shame

Satan, the great accuser and deceiver, uses shame to keep us from God. Shame is a darkness so heavy it feels that if you took it out of your body, it would have an actual weight or heft to it. Shame is the voice that beats you up, saying, “What were you thinking? Do you ever get anything right?” Shame doesn’t tell us we made a mistake; it tells us we are our mistakes. You may even hear “hide.” The adversary does everything in his power to keep the heaviness inside, telling us the cost is too high, that it will be easier if this stays in darkness, removing all hope. Satan is the thief of hope, and you need to hear this, so I’ll say these words out loud: You are not the voice in your head or the mistakes you have made. You may need to say that out loud too. Tell Satan, “Not today,” and put him behind you.

Possible discussion questions: Have you ever caught yourself thinking thoughts like Sister Runia describes? Which ones? Which of Sister Runia’s descriptions of shame do you find helpful? (Mine is, “Shame doesn’t tell us we made a mistake; it tells us we are our mistakes.”) Why does keeping sins secret give them more power over you? (They feed shame and reduce our self-worth.)

Godly Sorrow

Feel that pull—the godly sorrow that turns you toward your Savior—and watch His grace enter into your life and the lives of those you love. I promise the minute we bring a broken heart courageously toward Him, He is immediately there. If you saw someone drowning, wouldn’t you reach your hand out to rescue them? Could you imagine your Savior rejecting your outstretched hand? I imagine Him diving into the water, descending below all things to lift us up so we can take a fresh breath. No one can sink lower than the light of Christ shines. Our Savior is forever brighter than the darkness of shame, and He would never attack your worth.

Possible discussion question: How would you explain a “broken heart and contrite spirit” to a friend?

Online Responses

I asked this same question online (X account) and more than 100 people responded. Here are some of the answers:

“Willing to look inside yourself, give an honest evaluation, recognize you make mistakes, and that without God’s help, you can’t improve on your weaknesses.” ~Landon Hemsley

“A broken heart comes from disappointment in the world. A contrite spirit comes from recognizing you are part of the disappointment.” ~CoryDean

“It is a deeply personal recognition that you need to change.” ~Mark

“Regret for your mistakes and a willingness to change — in other words, godly sorrow.” ~HeLives

More Questions

We should not give in to shame, but godly sorrow is essential to bringing in the Spirit.

Godly sorrow: “Godly sorrow is a gift of the Spirit. It is a deep realization that our actions have offended our Father and our God. It is the sharp and keen awareness that our behavior caused the Savior, He who knew no sin, even the greatest of all, to endure agony and suffering. Our sins caused Him to bleed at every pore.” (Ezra Taft Benson, Teachings of the Prophets)

Possible discussion question: How would you describe “godly sorrow”? (Accept all reasonable answers)

Most important question: In your own words, how are shame and godly sorrow different? (Accept all reasonable answers.)

How I Would Describe the Difference to a Friend

Shame binds us down, influences us to keep secrets and hide part of ourselves, and erodes our self-worth. Godly sorrow is a spiritually healthy, grounded awareness that moves us to action. Whether to apologize, make amends, or change our ways, it moves us closer to God and increases our confidence before Him, whereas shame pushes us farther away and diminishes our self-worth.

Quote #4 (worth)

Possible engagement tool: Use your own hands to imitate Sister Runia’s gestures as someone reads this quote.

So watch closely. Imagine that this hand represents worth and this hand represents obedience. Maybe you woke up this morning, said a meaningful prayer, searched the scriptures to hear God’s voice. You’ve made good decisions and are treating the people you live with with Christlikeness. You’re listening to general conference—your obedience is here. Or maybe things haven’t gone so well. You’ve struggled lately to do the small, simple things to connect to heaven. Maybe you’ve made some decisions you weren’t proud of. Where is your worth? Has this hand moved at all? Your worth isn’t tied to obedience. Your worth is constant; it never changes. It was given to you by God, and there’s nothing you or anyone else can do to change it. Obedience does bring blessings—that is true—but worth isn’t one of them. Your worth is always great in the sight of God, no matter where your decisions have taken you…

Possible discussion questions: Why do you think it’s common for people to tie their sense of worth to their level of obedience? How might this misunderstanding affect their spiritual journey? When separating worth from obedience, as illustrated by Sister Runia’s two hands, what do we understand about our worth to God?

Quote #5 (affectionate)

This makes a great closing quote if you have time!

Coming unto Christ is saying, “Will you help me?” with hope, and a revealed assurance that His arms are extended to you always. I believe this fresh view of repentance means that even though we don’t have perfect obedience yet, we try affectionate obedience now, choosing to stay again and again because we love Him. Remember King Benjamin’s people, who had no more disposition to do evil but only to do good continually? Do you think they packed up their tents, went home, and never made another mistake? Of course not. The difference is they no longer wanted to sin. They had affectionate obedience; their hearts were turned and tuned to God.

Summary

Summarize class discussion highlights and/or share your testimony and feelings about Sister Runia’s talk. Thank your class for their excellent contributions and insights.

Final Comment

Please teach the quotes in any order that makes sense to you.

Teach with confidence, and if you would like some tips on how to feel more confident while teaching – try “9 Tips for More Class Participation.” May the Spirit bless and guide your efforts.